Trying To Manage The Charging Bull Of Stress

Trying to manage stress by breathing is like trying to manage the charging bull by thinking happy thoughts. Take control.

Most stress management programs focus on your internal reaction to stress.  This is because most people define “stress” by how they react to it.  Stress is 2 components: the stressor and your reaction. By focusing only on your reaction, the stress management program is fighting a losing battle.

Read about the bull at personal excellence.

In My Fortune Cookie: A Test Of Personal Excellence

The fortune in my fortune cookie read: "You will pass a difficult test that will make you happier and financially better." I thought, “Of course. It's called LIFE.”

Life is a test.  It’s a great big test with an unknown payoff at the end.  This isn’t an article about whether there is a test at the end.  It’s an article about passing all the tests along the way.  Passing these tests requires your personal excellence and improves your personal excellence.

Life is also a series of tests.  Most of these tests come from other people or from the situations you come to. Now, you don’t have to believe these are tests.  You can call them steps or stages or whatever you want.  But approaching them as tests allows you to frame your mind positively as “seeking to succeed” or “gaining something on the other side” as opposed to simply passing through or surviving.

Read this and finish it at personal excellence.

The problem with corporate America and bureaucratic government is that promotions are based on sycophancy not personal excellence.

Sycophancy is defined as “fawning obsequiousness. Synonyms:  grovelling, servility, cringing, fawning, kowtowing, bootlicking, toadyism, slavishness.”  Obviously, these ar negative terms.  Being a sycophant is a negative thing.

This is a difficult topic, because there is a fine line between good and bad here.  Companies promote people into management that they trust and they can work with, as well as people who are competent.  This is good, because these people become trusted advisors to the people above them.  These people focus on their personal excellence, but not in a narcissistic way.

See how this concludes at personal excellence.

The Funnest Thing

The funnest thing is to say "the funnest thing" and watch people try to remember if that's how you really say it.  Doing something unexpected forces people to react in new and innovative ways.  The key is to be unexpected without hurting someone.

Doing unexpected things knocks people out of their comfort zone.  This helps prevent stagnation without making them so uncomfortable that they actively resist you.  By getting them out of their comfort zone without an actual confrontation, they have to look at things differently even if only for a moment.

More is waiting for you expectantly at personal excellence.

Modelling Is Not Copying. A Personal Excellence Reminder.

Very few people are directly managed by a real leader.  Too often, the person above you on the organizational chart got there partly on merit.  But they also probably got there by copying their boss, who copied his or her boss, and so on, and so on.  These are not real leaders.  These are leaders by position.

No one ever became a leader by submitting to a leader. You become a leader by modelling a leader. Bad leaders think modelling means copying.

More exposition at personal excellence. Let's hear your voice in the comments, please.

5 Ways To Deal With A Sycophant Boss

A bad boss is a terrible situation. An incompetent boss is frustrating. But a sycophant boss is incredibly stressful. You know the type. Never questions any memo or direction from higher up because he or she doesn't want to "rock the boat." Won't support the team if they see a flaw or error in the plan because it might make the boss look "argumentative." Always willing to throw you under the bus if upper management is looking fur a scapegoat for their mistakes. So how do you deal with this person?

See the answer to this question at personal excellence.

Career stress can be from choosing to be a sycophant instead of an unservile leader

Most people want to advance in their careers.  Most large companies have multiple career paths.  Early in your career, you can move back and forth between different paths.  But at some point, you’ve advanced far enough that going to another path would essentially be going back in time.

At smaller companies, the career path is based on the growth of the company and growth in your skills. There isn’t any definite career path, because you and the company are growing together.  You try to align your goals with the growth of the company and maybe sometimes you can steer the direction of the company to align with your goals.

This winds up elegantly at personal excellence.

5 Ways To Deal With A Sycophant Boss

A bad boss is a terrible situation. An incompetent boss is frustrating. But a sycophant boss is incredibly stressful. You know the type. Never questions any memo or direction from higher up because he or she doesn't want to "rock the boat." Won't support the team if they see a flaw or error in the plan because it might make the boss look "argumentative." Always willing to throw you under the bus if upper management is looking fur a scapegoat for their mistakes. So how do you deal with this person?

Read the conclusion of this at personal excellence and add your personally excellent comments.

No One Ever Became A Leader By Submission.

One definition of a leader is “one who is followed by others.” Another is “one who has influence or control over others.” This is accomplished by force (including authority based on position) and charisma (people want you to lead them).

This implies that a leader is a person who expects others to follow. Or a person who is confident enough to seek to influence others. We're not talking good or bad leaders, or people who abuse their office of authority. Just making some generalizations.

This means that a leader has a fairly high sense of independence and autonomy. Not complete isolation (because how can people follow you if you are alone?). But the sense that they can rise from the lowest rank, where everything they do is an order from someone else.

Complete this at personal excellence and add your thoughts to extend it please.

How Leaders Respond To “We Have A Problem”

Leaders respond to “We have a problem” with “Show me” and not “Let me explain why it’s not a problem, okay?” This is because a leader sees his or her role as getting past problems.  Not really solvng problems.  Sometimes that’s your job.  But getting the team or the company past a problem is the responsibility of a leader.

Leaders have the responsibility of implementing the larger vision. Sometimes this vision is of what the team needs to accomplish.  Sometimes it’s at the department or region level. Sometimes it’s for the company or organization as a whole.  This is the focus of the leader.

To finish this thought, please go to personal excellence.